The honorable proprietors of the Sunset Strip Gentleman’s Club had occasion to inform the local constabulary of a heinous breach of gentlemanly etiquette on Friday when a local attorney at law allegedly absconded without remitting proper remuneration for a tasteful dry humping.
The gentleman advocate, identified in the area newspaper of record as Dylan Vinzant, allegedly procured a 15-minute diversion to a private dance area in the company of a comely lass for the agreed upon modest sum of $200. But authorities say this blackguard fled into the blackberry bushes without fulfilling his end of the transaction. Or, more likely, Marionberry bushes as the locals insist on calling their blackberries.
Escaping the briar, Sunset Strip’s gentleman caller supposedly sought to avail himself of the public transportation concern. Finding the light rail train already departed, authorities claim that the counselor skulked toward a darkened train shaft, a haunting metaphor of where the night’s events did not lead him.
Thankfully, dear reader, this esquire did not find an oncoming train within the confines of the tunnel but instead representatives of the Sheriff’s department who staked out the other side and waited for him to emerge.
He was taken swiftly to jail and booked on “suspicion of theft and trespassing.”
With this unpleasantness behind it, the Sunset Strip can return to serving the proper gentleman of the greater Portland, Oregon area.
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.
via Above the Law https://abovethelaw.com
March 3, 2020 at 05:20PM